I am rubbish at this.

Transitions. Let’s discuss. I’m terrible at them. And yes, this word can imply gender transition or life/death transition, but for the purpose of this letter, I’m referring to the transitions between life events, activities or projects. What, you don’t think about transitions? Well, neither did I, until 2009 that is.

Actually, that isn’t quite true. I did think about them, I just didn’t know there was a name for that space my 5 year old enter when he didn’t want to leave one place and move to another. When he would lie down in the middle of a crowd of people and scream his tiny little head off, I knew he wasn’t being a bad kid, just having a helluva hard time. It wasn’t until he got an autism diagnosis that I learned why he was having a hard time. It took me until I was 50 to admit that I have a hard time with them as well.

Instead of accepting that and building in some transitional time after a big project (or a vacation even), I pretend like it’s not my thing. In fact, I was positive that the Monday after my big fashion show event that I’d worked on for six months, I’d leap back into my studio and have my Marketplace filled with new items by now. Instead, I’ve walked around like Dora the Explorer, looking for clues as to what I should do next, tempered by long, annoying blinks. “The path is clearly right there, Dora!” *Slaps forehead.

This morning I woke up with a clear agenda again. That’s five whole days of walking in circles, long blinks, in transition. If I zoom out, I think I’ve been in transition for most of this year. Why isn’t Dora doing it right though? Why can’t I finish a project then take a minute to writhe in the details, ruminate, celebrate?

I’m finally hearing the invitation to be more intentional with closure. I need some kind of ritual to honor endings but in my wandering, I found a piece of art that I received a few years ago from my friend Stephanie, my partner in one of the many #recoverygalsartexchanges that Tammi Salas and I have hosted over the years. I’d been undecided on where to hang her beautiful ceramic chime and after she transitioned last year (the aforementioned kind), I was stalled even further. In my longing for ritual, I found the perfect place for it.

I think the experiences that require more transitional time are because we’ve been left in awe. Thank you for reframing that for me, Stephanie.

What has left you in awe lately?