There are hundreds of ways to kiss the ground 👣

*passage is from "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser.

*passage is from "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser.

But to see all the ways, some things will have to be sacrificed.

I've been thinking so much about the intentional space that I want to build, interact and live within and without. I want the beauty I love be what I do, and that is my reality, for the most part. But there is one space that has felt out of alignment for a while. And it's not the space itself, it's how I'm using it.

A little backstory: when I started The Unruffled, I never wanted to be out there and known for being sober. While I do think it's the most important thing I've ever done and it's been the catalyst for many of my creative accomplishments to date (and most likely the reason I'm sitting upright, breathing and typing this today), it's just one note in my symphony. If I want to impress you in anyway, it's with what I create while sober. That being said, being sober lands me in the sober community, my favorite people. Cohosting a podcast about creativity and recovery and managing a secret FB group with nearly 900 women gives me somewhat of a platform, but I'm going to say this as transparently as I can and I hope you'll believe me, I've always been there for the connection, not for the influence.

But as with Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. I ain't that powerful, but I do acknowledge the influence I have, even if it's undirected. I know that most of my followers on Instagram are in some sort of recovery. Building a platform or a brand on there requires constant content creation and honestly, I've usually half-assed it. Just like I tell my clients, if your whole ass isn't in it, ask yourself it's something you really want. But in thinking about this, asking my followers to be relentlessly consuming my content feels irresponsible, like I'm complicit in engaging other people's addictions for my own benefit. It just doesn't feel right.

I'm not withdrawing from IG completely. I'm there for the friendship and for the connection over shared experiences. I honestly don't know what my engagement will look like but I know I want a place to share my art, my adventures, my kids and my cat. I have a business to run, and while I do need to promote things when it's time to promote them, I'm not just going to be churning out "content". And it's not like I was doing that, again, I half-assed it, but there's a lot of "shoulds" in entrepreneurship and social media. Being a voice in the recovery space, it just doesn't feel ethical for me anymore.

Whew. That was a lot of words for saying how I intend to use Instagram in 2021. And if you follow me there, you may not even notice the changes! I'm also not here to shame anyone for how they use social media. That would be very hypocritical of me. This year has given me an opportunity to turn a critical lens on how I've been using online social spaces for my own benefit. It's also not like I won't be using other platforms to convince you to hang out with me! I'll be relying heavily on this newsletter, so I hope you continue to receive me in your inbox. I'm working on building a space on my website and hope to offer different levels of engagement. I know FB has it's own (arguably worse) issues but I also know there's workarounds to engage in secret FB groups without opening the whole FB can of worms. I do love The Unruffled Podcast secret FB group. I've been writing about it all month, so I don't need to pontificate further except to say that it is the real and tangible engagement that I desire.

I'm going to stay curious. I'm going to keep asking questions. There are hundreds of ways to kiss the ground.

P.S. Two more days to sign up to work with me in 2021 through Change Your Story for 25% off the regular price. Just enter STORY2020 in the checkout. Offer ends at midnight, Jan. 31.